Dad Number Three's Pretty Pissed
by hetalianGemini
Summary: (Gift Fic, Posted With Permission) (Polygamy Warning) The other two characters mentioned are Paul and Patryck


Tord got up slowly, with a hand on his bump to steady himself. He stretched, wincing when he heard his joints pop. He'd been asleep for God knows how long in this run down hotel room, and it was finally time to work on his plans. He sat down at the cheaply made desk (just a bunch of crates taped together), and began to write. He didn't notice the passing of the time, until movement in his stomach made itself apparent. He watched, mesmerized, as his twins shifted around inside him, distending his stomach and causing it to make some weird shapes.

Placing a hand to the stretched skin, he murmured, "I swear you two are going to tear my womb."

He received two sharp kicks that jostled his stomach. Lovely.

Turning back to his notes, he went back to work. For hours on end he sat there, making diagrams and checklists in messy Norwegian, before more kicking distracted him.

Letting out a groan of annoyance, he grumbled, "Can't you two just chill for a while?"

Apparently they couldn't, as they continued to abuse his poor body. Rising from his chair, he grabbed a note that Pau left on the dresser. It was a list of things to do in various predicaments, in case something should go awry. The man was really worried about his safety, especially when he couldn't personally monitor him. So he resorted to leaving helpful notes like the one Tord had in his hand.

The first item was 'Walk around'. Simple enough. Tord made a few laps around the small room, picking up anything that was out of place. After lap number five he began to tire of it, but the twins were still squirming.

The second item was 'Relax, your stress level is probably agitating them'. Not as easy. He was still worried about the events prior to their stay, and the small enclosed space didn't make things any better. He attempted to revive the old, beat up TV in their room, but it was absolute toast no matter how many tricks he had up his sleeve.

The third and final item was 'Try rubbing some lotion on your stomach'. Digging through the drawers in their tiny bathroom, he found a small bottle of lotion that wasn't completely used up by the previous guests. Squirting some into his metal palm, he spread it over the expanse of his belly. The squirming seemed to calm down, whether from the lotion or the constant rubbing he couldn't tell. Once his twins had settled in his womb, he got back up and sat back down at his desk.

He didn't remember dozing off, but when he opened his eyes he was lying in bed with the covers pulled over him. He sat up slowly, stretching again.

"I'll never get these plans done, will I?" he asked nobody in particular.

Glancing around the room, he noticed that the smoke detector was disassembled on the floor.

'Pau must be back' he thought to himself.

"Babe, you here?" he asked aloud.

"In the bathroom."

Tord made his way over, waddling slightly and leaning on the wall for support. True to his word, his boyfriend was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"Pau, put that cancer stick out. You know I can get second hand smoke," Tord huffed

The man did as he was told, discarding the unfinished stick in the garbage can. Now free of any toxins, he pulled Tord in for a hug, rubbing his baby bump.

"You okay?" he asked, pressing kisses along his pregnant lover's neck.

"Yeah, but I've been falling asleep in the middle of things a lot lately," he replied, noting the two times that he'd dozed off.

"Well, that's because these two trouble makers have been keeping you up at night."

"Ugh, sorry you two have to deal with this."

Pau kneeled down to kiss Tord's belly.

"It's fine love," he reassured the Norwegian, "It just comes with being a dad."

Tord frowned as he looked around the small bathroom.

"Where are we going to live? The five of us can't stay in a dingy hotel for the rest of our lives," he said, expressing his concerns.

Pau pressed another kiss to his belly.

"We'll figure it out, the three of us. They won't have to grow up here, I promise."

After reassuring his lover that they wouldn't be hanging around for much longer, the two climbed into bed together.

"You're still in your uniform, babe," Tord laughed.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter."

Tord grinned, and allowed himself to drift off into sleep.

(timeskip brought to you by my science teacher. Cancer In a Bottle, now in stores. Don't touch it!)

Tord woke up a while later, groggy and disoriented. Careful not to disturb his sleeping boyfriend, he got out of bed. Stepping over the smoke detector, (he really needed to put that back together before the hotel staff noticed) he went to the bathroom. After doing his business, he sat against the tub, caressing his belly.

"Hey there you two," he cooed, "You little troublemakers."

His twins kicked back in response.

"I can't wait to meet you. Though I don't want you to have to see our living conditions."

One of his kids did a somersault in him, causing him to gasp in surprise.

"You two are just the most active pair, aren't you?"

He felt a sharp kick against his spine, and he groaned in pain. He had no clue where this sudden pain came from, or if it was caused by his children's kicking in his womb.

Then, he felt a tight squeeze in his pelvic, causing him to scream out in agony. He fell to his side, clutching his belly, as Pau ran to his side.

"What's wrong love?" he asked frantically, checking him over for any blood or injuries.

"T-the babies, they're-"

He didn't get to finish his statement as another contraction rolled through him. He cried out, tears welling in his eyes.

"Calm down, love," he heard, though it sounded like it was underwater, "Just breathe."

He followed the instructions given, taking deep, calming breaths. He groaned, then gasped as he felt something shift downwards inside him.

"Babe, the baby's c-coming now," he whimpered.

"And you're sure your water hasn't broken?"

"Y-yes."

Pau frowned, before smoothing two hands over his boyfriend's bump. Before the Norwegian could ask what he was doing, he pressed down. Tord screamed as his water was forcefully broken, amniotic fluid creating a puddle on the floor.

"Oh my god, oh my god," Tord said, starting to panic again.

"Calm down love, it's alright. Just breathe."

Tord then remembered something he learned while preparing for this day.

"Babe, if the pipe has clean water coming out of it, do you think you could lay me in there?" he asked.

"Alright, hold on for a bit."

He then heard the pipe running, and Pau shifted to test the water.

Shaking the water off his hand, he said, "Seems clean enough. Let's get you in there."

Tord was then gently lifted bridal-style and set into the tub. He shifted his position before spreading his legs.

"Alright love, do you feel the need to push yet?"

"N-no not yet."

"Then we still have a while to go. Just stay there, I'll get something for you to do."

Pau then left, and Tord was all alone. He decided to check how far he'd dilated, sticking two fingers into himself. He wasn't a doctor, so he couldn't say exactly, but his cervix seemed pretty far open. He then gasped as something pushed against his robotic fingers.

"Babe, the baby's moving down!" he yelled, hoping his boyfriend would hear him.

He apparently didn't have to worry, as Pau came running back in with scissors.

"Weren't you taught not to run with scissors?" he joked, wincing in pain.

"Well, they didn't teach me how to deliver a baby, so what do they know?"

A knock on the door startled the two, and Pau went to go answer it. Tord could hear a woman talking, speaking in rapid Spanish and his boyfriend answering back fluently.

"¿Qué pasa con todos los gritos?" she asked him.

"Estábamos haciendo el hacer," Pau replied sheepishly.

He eyes blew wide, and she apologized profusely before leaving.

"What did she say?" Tord asked from the bathroom.

"She asked me what was up with the screaming. Told her we were 'doing the do'," Pau responded smugly, "Made her leave in a hurry."

"Babe! That was just mean," he joked, taking deep breaths.

"Are they coming now?"

"Y-yeah."

"Hold on, I'll get a towel to wrap them up in."

"Still can't get a hold of Pat?"

"Nope."

Tord was concerned for their other boyfriend's safety, but for right now he had to focus on pushing out his children.

"Alright love, do you need to push?"

"Yes, yes, I have to oh my god!"

Tord started on the next contraction, gripping Pau's hand with his robotic one.

"Easy there Tord, slow down. I can see feet."

The Norwegian stopped immediately, eyes blown wide.

"Oh my god," he whispered, pushing lightly and feeling the smaller body leaving his.

"Alright, this one's a beautiful baby girl," the other whispered, handing his daughter off to their 'mother'.

Tord immediately went back to work pushing his second Little one out. He moaned in pain when they became stuck at his pelvis, wiggling his hips.

"Oh god babe they're stuck," he sobbed.

Pau cupped his face in his hands, and Tord leaned into the touch.

"It's alright love," he said, "Just relax."

"Ngh, trying to."

Tord gasped as his second born child kicked his walls once, twice, before coming unlodged. Their head moved into a full crown, and he screamed.

"Agh, Pau catch them," he grunted, "They're coming out fast."

The Polish man did as he was told, cradling his child close as they left his boyfriend's body.

"Another beautiful girl," he said, smiling down at his daughter.

He handed both girls to their 'mother' who took them wearily.

"Hello my little ones," he cooed, "Giving mommy so much trouble."

"What are we naming them?" Pau asked, scurrying around the tiny bathroom in an attempt to clean it up.

"How about Chara for the youngest, and Simone for the oldest?"

"Absolutely perfect."

Needless to say, Pat was pretty miffed to find that he'd missed his children's birth.

~~~~~~~  
By Preggo Sauce from AO3 and tumblr  
They are a blessing  
Also this ranked I'm shook  
~Mari


End file.
